When I tell my kids, “In a minute,” I’m really saying, “Please, please forget.” It’s Friday and I don’t want to do the things.
Sometimes Pat does things like prance his fit body in front of me or goes to the bathroom by himself. Ya know, annoying junk. But I asked him recently for a sketch of our new family for a used frame I found and boy, did he deliver. His talent amazes me daily. If you have any interest in an adorable sketch of your family, your dogs, or yourself, (I am contemplating sending 8×10 of myself to all my friends I don’t see anymore) shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
What are you dressing your kids as for Halloween? Last year we put a mullet on Joe, threw some overalls on him and boom! he was Joe Dirt. We have joked about dressing him up as Joe Dirt until the year he finally decides he’d like to be something other than trailer trash. He has recently become fascinated with a book where the kids’ faces are painted, so I was like mmmm…Halloween. Yesterday, I tried to paint his face and it ended in a TOTAL meltdown. Is this normal? What did you dress your kid as when they were 2? He’s so god damn particular. Noah will most likely be in some baby garb. You know the drill.
I wrote an entire post on this dessert and then realized it was for Weekend Vibes. So, you are welcome for my work ethic and idiocracy. Please click for one delicious, hilarious, and easy-to-toddler-with fudge recipe. I may start a segment titled “Baking With Joe” because baking with a toddler when you’re a person that likes order is ridiculous.
Fall makes me want new “stuff” in my house. I’m slowly learning my design style and I like function over anything else. Currently, there are lots of things in my house with zero function and it annoys the piss out of me. Like that stupid elephant in the living room, the vase that doesn’t even house flowers, and my gallery wall that looks straight out of a terrible Pinterest board. These things were purchased when I viewed decorating as just filling my home instead of making it mine. So, beyond spending my non-existent paycheck on shit I don’t really need, I made my way to Goodwill and spent $16, moved things around, and feel like I have a brand new home. I’ll admit I went and bought fall kitchen towels, but if you don’t find happiness in paying full price for decor, I always recommend getting your butt to a garage sale or Goodwill. Next week, I’ll probably show you all the damn pumpkins I chucked around my house. I warned you of this.
I will willingly admit I am in love with Taylor Swift. I have been since she starting bitching about her obsession with Drew. My friend told me that she has a new song out and I was overly annoyed that I hadn’t heard it first. If you want a quick, pop pick me up to get your Friday going, Taylor’s got you. This song makes me wanna get hammered and it’s 9AM. The girl doesn’t mess around.